Brown Before Gold
by Forever Tragically Torn
Summary: He pulled away for a moment and stared blazingly into my eyes. 'You’re so perfect, Bella. I have no doubt that there is a God. No other being could have designed a creature as exquisite as you.'" Story between Eclipse and 1st chapter of Breaking Dawn.
1. After Eclipse

**_A/N- This takes place between Eclipse and the first chapter of Breaking Dawn. Enjoy! and please review._**

It had been three days since Edward and I had broken the news to Charlie. It had been two days and twenty hours since the Edward had left on a hunting trip and two days and sixteen hours since the leak. The leak that let the news of Edward's and my engagement seep through the tiny town of Forks.

I originally thought it was Alice who had spilled the beans. I had envisioned her gleefully sharing the news as she went about town – I can say it – _wedding planning_. But, it turned out that she, along with Emmet and Jasper, had also gone hunting.

Rosalie, was my next thought. She would have loved to see the discomfort etched across my face as I took in the stares and whispers.

But, as I had just tripped over the curb trying to escape a group of my former classmates, no doubt gossiping about the fact that I was – well – engaged, it wouldn't be long before I discovered the source of the leak.

My tumble had landed me in an ambulance, which I discovered after being out cold for several minutes. The doors opened and I was wheeled into the hospital by a couple of bored EMTs.

I had been waiting for five minutes when a familiar face surrounded by blonde hair arrived at my bed side.

"You know Bella," said Dr. Carlisle Cullen quietly, "I think I've smelt your blood more than any other human being's."

I blushed, embarrassed by my constant clumsiness, "Trust me, if I could help it, you'd smell it a lot less."

He chuckled. "Alright I am going to have a nurse come in and help me stitch up your head, and then we'll run some tests to see if everything else is okay."

"I feel fine, really, maybe just a little nauseous," I said.

"I am not surprised at that. You've definitely suffered a concussion," he said with a kind smile. "I'd like to have a few x-rays also, though."

"What do x-rays have to do with my head?" I asked, suspicious.

"I am sorry, Bella, but if I don't give you a complete check up, he won't be happy."

I groaned. Edward was miles and miles away, and his overly protective legacy continued to radiate towards me like a curse. Despite all the tests, which I would endure, he would still be extra cautious with me for days, as if I could be anymore breakable.

But that wasn't the only thing that made me angry – or as angry as I could be with Edward. While he zipped off on one his trip, I was the one who would have to endure the spotlight of the town's gossip. It wasn't fair, this was for him.

My anger started to alleviate as I remembered his dark eyes in the meadow. They had been fiery black and underlined by severely purple circles. He had been thirsty; the trip was necessary. But, I brightened at this thought too. Edward had been even more eager for _me_ that day. Not my blood but all of me. It had been overwhelmingly tempting to not stop him, to let him proceed, barreling right through his desire to wait until after the wedding to "try." But, for some reason, I couldn't let him do that, not when it was something that _I _could actually do for _him_.

My thoughts were interrupted when I heard Carlisle cheerily talking with a nurse on the other side of the curtain.

"I bet Esme's delighted, having another son married off," said the nurse.

"She could not be more thrilled. We are both very happy for him, and he couldn't have found a more perfect match," Carlisle replied, proudly.

My jaw dropped as their conversation continued.

"They're very young," commented the nurse politely.

"Ah," said Carlisle patiently, "but age can often be – objective."

_What? Age can be objective? _I thought, _Just like my request to keep the wedding plans quiet until Edward got back, apparently. Damn leaks._

"Oh, the bride-to-be," said the nurse coming around the curtain. "Now your not gonna want to be tripping when you go down the aisle," she said jokingly.

My eyes widened at the thought. Mine and Carlisle's eyes met and I saw that he was hastily covering up a smile that had sprung up at her words. His face quickly shifted into an apologetic grimace at his lack of confidentiality.

It was hours later and I watched the sun set outside my bedroom window. I missed Edward. He had left so quickly I hadn't bothered to ask him when he'd be back, but I knew it had to be soon. I could have called Esme to find out, but I really had no desire to talk about the – well the - the wedding, ugh.

It was now twilight and my mind wandered to Edward's face, and the pain my hesitation caused him. When he returned I would have to try my hardest to act pleased, I thought as I sat down on my bed, wrapping my knees close to my chest.

Then Jessica Stanley's face swam in front of mine. She had come in to the Newton's store yesterday. She had given me an odd smile as she greeted me, hand in hand with a boy she was dating. She seemed a little smug at the fact that she was free to have fun and date while I was tying myself down to some stiff, overbearing, control freak...with an amazing body...but that wasn't the point.

Lost in my apprehensions, I hadn't realized how stiff and still I had become. I was so lost in thought that I hadn't seen the perfectly sculpted Edward Cullen climb through my window and slink into the shadows of my dark room.

**_A/N- Hoped you liked it, tell me what you think!_**


	2. A Bitter Dream

**_A/N- Enjoy, this takes place between Eclipse and the first chapter of Breaking Dawn that came out. I promise, it'll get better a few chapters in. Please review._**

**_I don't own any of the characters._**

My thoughts were disturbed when the softest of velvet reached my ears, "Bella." I jumped. The voice had been so soft, I thought that maybe I had imagined it. But a moment later, Edward was sitting right beside me. Normally, I would have leapt into his arms, or done something equally dangerous, but all I could do was pull my legs closer into my chest as I tried to slow down my heart.

"I frightened you, it's about time," he chuckled and pulled my arms from around my knees. My legs slipped down until they were hanging off the bed. He gently grabbed the backs of my arms and turned me towards himself.

I had almost found my voice when our eyes met, but his faced had just transformed into a look of deep concern. He had seen the cut and bruises that lined the right side of my face.

"Bella," he whispered urgently, his hand brushing, with impossible softness down the side of my face. His eyes found mine again, "What happened to you?"

I pressed my tongue to the back of my teeth to keep from saying what I really wanted to: _the damn ring you put on my finger, that's what happened to me._ But, instead, I merely said, "I tripped."

He watched me carefully, recognizing the editing that had occurred in my hesitation. I was aware of his careful hold on me, not having moved an inch since he noticed my injury. I used his close embrace to my advantage as I stretched my neck up to his. I placed a kiss on his neck and then another at his jaw, where I hesitated, recognizing the signs of him listening to my racing heart.

He looked down into my eyes, and slightly disappointed, I realized he intended on making some sort of speech before kissing me.

"Bella, I'm sorry." I groaned, and rolled my eyes. Of course, he was going to blame my fall on himself. I tried to shift my body away from his piercing eyes, but his hold was too strong. "How do you feel?" he asked, ignoring my reaction to his first statement.

"I'm fine," I said slightly exasperated, and even more, awed at his beautiful face. "I'm actually surprised Carlisle didn't tell you."

"I came straight here. I couldn't wait to see your face any longer." That did it; my heart sprinted at an even faster pace. "Though, I didn't expect to find it damaged."

_Damaged? What am I, a car? _"I just got scraped up a bit," but as I said this, his eyes darted to the side and his hand had snatched something off my nightstand.

"These," he said, holding up a tiny bottle of pills, "are typically taken after you've had a concussion, not after you've gotten 'scraped up a bit.'" His face was twisted beautifully into an expression of fear. I tried again to move, this time to kiss away the pain etched on his perfect face.

Frustrated at my lack of success, I said, "If you're not going to let go of me, will you at least kiss me. I've missed you," and my voice broke as I realized how much I really had missed him.

His face eased into a lighter expression, and he leaned towards me, stopping to smirk as he listened to my heart accelerate. My mouth went dry as he lifted me by the backs of my arms up to him. Still slower yet he pressed his lips to mine. My heart fluttered, as if daring to stop. He lowered me back down and released my arms.

His mouth pulled up into a half smile. He kissed the tip of my nose, and in a velvety whisper he said, "You've had a concussion today, my love, you really shouldn't be getting overexcited."

I was about to protest or just simply kiss him anyway, but anticipating this, he laid down and pulled me down along beside him so his lips were at the back of my neck. "Rest, Bella," he whispered seductively from just behind my ear. Feeling his fingers running through my hair and hearing him quietly humming my lullaby, I surrendered to sleep, safely cradled in his cold arms.

My sleep, however, was peppered thickly with dreams. The first few revolved around Edward, except for one very odd one about a flash of green light and a flying motorcycle. But after that set came more painful dreams. Dreams about the one person it hurt most to think about: Jacob.

In one particular dream, Jacob was sitting on the multitudes of pebbles that covered the La Push beach next to a slightly pregnant woman. He looked the same as he did now, but that wasn't a true indication of his age, because in becoming a werewolf, he had advanced to the physical maturity of a twenty-five year old. I wondered at first who the woman was. Jacob had leaned over to talk to her stomach before kissing it. The woman giggled cheerfully, and Jacob sat up with a smile of perfect contentedness. The smile was _my Jacob's_ smile.

I tried to discover the identity of the woman; stung with jealousy even in this dream world I was observing.

I inhaled sharply. The woman was me. I was probably twenty-five or so. In the haze of sleep, I became anxious, as if this were my future. Me, twenty-five, and still human. But then, I caught sight of Jacob's radiant smile once more and everything was okay. As I thought that, two small children darted into my vision. The first looked like the toddler version of Jacob, but with my lighter eyes. The younger child was as pale as me and she too had my eyes. They played happily, the boy throwing sticks into the waves and giggling excitedly when a ripple would appear, the girl collecting the shiniest stones in her tiny yellow shirt.

The sun was shining brightly in a large gap between the clouds, and gold haze blanketed the scene. It was perfect bliss, as the dream Jacob and I continued to hold hands, a simple golden band glinting from each our ring fingers.

But the comfortable scene shifted to a more anxious one as a thick black cloud moved over the sun. It's shadow stretched across the water, over the children, over Jacob and me and our unborn child. And then, as if we'd seen it at the same moment, Jacob and I both rose to their feet, alarmed.

A tall, thin figure was walking towards us. As it came closer, I realized it was cloaked in dark robes, exactly like those of the Volturi. When the figure was ten feet away, it stopped, a hood covering its head and shadowing it's face.

Jacob grabbed the little boys hand to hold him back, and as he tried to grab hold of the little girl she ran forward to the stranger. She emptied the stones from her shirt at the robed one's feet. They sent off ruby red sparkles in the remaining light. The figure scooped the girl into it's arms.

"NOOOOO!" Jacob screamed, unable trying to move, but kept still by an invisible force.

My dream self stood still, transfixed by the familiar way the figure held my small daughter.

The figure lowered its hood, and Jacob's screams pierced the air, but still, he was tethered by unseen chains.

The figure had pale skin, bronze hair, and...dangerous scarlet-black eyes. He brought his mouth to her neck, and a distant, frightening scream penetrated my dream self's concentration, suddenly I was thrashing – and then I was really thrashing in my bed restrained by cold powerful - -arms? And that voice, what was that?

"Bella! Bella, wake up your dreaming, wake up," it was Edward. I realized that it was me who was screaming, and I tried to stop. Edward was stroking my face, frantically trying to arouse my consciousness.

My eyes flashed open as hot tears poured down my white face.

**_A/N- Thanks so much for reading, tell me what you think!_**


	3. The Maid of Honor

**_A/N- I hope your still liking it, I promise there will be more Edward stuff soon. Please review._**

Finally waking, I sat up gasping for air. The light out side my window was a faint gray of the sun rising behind the fog.

"Charlie," I managed to gasp.

"Bella, what—?"

"Charlie, did he leave yet?" I choked out.

"Yes, yes, he left twenty minutes ago," Edward said hastily. "Bella, breathe."

I looked into his face, and this did not help for two reasons. My first reaction was that he was, as always, Greek God gorgeous. But, the second was stronger. I pictured the figure from my dream, realizing it had been Edward. I began to shake violently.

Edward swept me into his arms. His face wore a pained expression, angry at his helplessness in the situation.

It took me several moments, but finally the impossible tenderness of his stone-like arms seeped beneath my skin and into my trembling bones. Edward brushed my hair out of my face, and drew me in closer to his chest.

"Shhhh...it's okay Bella. It's over, it was only a dream," he said, trying to reassure me. That was the problem, though, it wasn't just a dream. That dream had drawn up the scars etched along my heart. _Oh, Jacob..._ I thought.

My breathing had returned to normal (or as normal as it ever was around Edward), before he spoke to me again. "You frightened me," he said, barely keeping a tremor out of his voice. "You were perfectly still, perfectly peaceful, and then you – you just started screaming and kicking and," he took a deep breath, "I thought you were having a seizure."

I felt – relief – oddly enough. I hadn't said anything. I hadn't said Jacob's name or called out to my _children_.

"Tell me Bella; tell me what you're thinking. Tell me what you were dreaming about," Edward demanded, frustrated.

"I – " I couldn't tell him the truth. "I just had an old nightmare about Victoria and James," I lied, avoiding his careful eyes.

He frowned, not fooled for a second. I could see the battle raging behind his eyes. Would he surrender to his curiosity or would he allow me my sanctuary?

"Fine," he said briskly, his face a perfect mask. "I have some things to do today. I'll pick you up later; we can go to my house."

"What do you have to do today?" I asked, curious.

"Nothing that would interest you," he said. He hadn't said it coldly, but I took his sudden secretive nature as frustration at my earlier lies. If he had intended to frustrate me, however, he had failed, because I knew he would only be sulking all day about not getting his way.

He placed a swift kiss on my forehead and jumped out the window.

I sighed. Not thinking about Jacob was proving to be extremely difficult. I suddenly felt bad that I had ruined Edward's morning, but it would hurt him worse if he knew the truth.

I dragged myself out of bed and into the shower. The hot water helped rinse off all of the gloom brought on by the dream.

My head didn't hurt but I decided to take the pain medication as a precaution. I didn't want to have to cover up any pain when I was around Edward because, of course, he would notice.

An hour and a half after Edward was gone, I was placing toast in the toaster and already missing him. As I started feeling guilty again, I heard a mysterious ticking noise, and, for some odd reason, I pictured a display of singing puppets. Then, I realized it was more of a tapping.

I turned quickly (stumbling as I did so), to see tiny Alice Cullen tapping her foot with a deadly, most vampiric look on her flawless face.

I raised my eyebrows, annoyed. I thought that was quite a harsh glower when I didn't even know what I had done.

"I hope you're happy Bella Swan," she sneered coldly.

"Oh, well yeah, I'm good," I said yawning as I removed the toast that had just finished. I took my time buttering each piece as she continued to glare. "Are you going tell me why you've so cheerfully come to visit me this morning or do we have to play charades?" I poured myself a glass of orange juice and brought my breakfast to the table.

I had taken a bite out of my toast when Alice whipped out the chair and flung herself into it. "_What_ did you say to Edward?"

"_Why _do you ask?" I replied sarcastically.

She narrowed her eyes before responding. "He's spent the last hour making everyone's life hell, I'll have you know."

"Sorry about that," I said, still annoyed at her attitude.

"Oh, you'll understand soon enough, Bella. The wedding's in August, once he's changed you, you'll understand."

"Fine," I said trying keep apprehension out of my voice. "What's he been doing this morning, then?"

"Well he started by storming in and harassing Carlisle, Esme, and Rosalie, because you got a concussion 'on their watch.' And then he moved on to Emmet, Jasper, and me, saying it was_ our_ fault that we weren't back sooner. Then he started rambling about some dream and being too limited. Carlisle couldn't even calm him down. In the end he realized he'd hurt Esme and he finally shut up, storming up to his room like some ridiculous teenager," Alice finished her venting and looked up at me, slightly calmer.

"Ummm...that sucks," I said, trying to sound genuinely sympathetic this time.

"So, what did you say to him?" She insisted.

"I can't tell you that," I said apologetically.

"I'm your maid of honor," Alice said, turning her face into a perfect pout.

"Look it's not important. Besides, if I told you, he would know, he would see it in your head," I said.

"Oh, I see," Alice said, thinking over my words. "It's not something you said, it's something you didn't say. That _does_ make more sense. And that's what he was talking about, being limited. It drives him nuts not being able to know what you're thinking, you know," she looked more contemplative than angry, and that was a relief. "You're keeping a dream from him, Bella?" Alice asked incredulously, finally understanding. "That's ridiculous, Bella. Why don't you just tell him; it's just something your subconscious strung together."

I looked down at my hands. "I just can't Alice, it would hurt him. I can't do that Alice," I repeated.

She narrowed her eyes again, and took a deep, unnecessary, breath. "Okay, I guess I get it."

I took a breath of relief, Alice always understood...in the end. "Toast?" I asked, jokingly offering up my second piece.

She smiled. "No, no thanks," her eyes danced mischievously. "But pull what you did today again, and I might just have you as a nice little snack."

"Some maid of honor _you _are," I muttered, before I returned her smile.

**_A/N- I'm hoping to post the next couple of chapters soon. Please review!_**


	4. The Coldest Flame

**_A/N- Okay, this one's firey. Loved writing it. Tell me what you think!_**

I heard a knock on the door around two o'clock. I set down the book I had been reading and went to open the door.

"Oh," I said, surprised, "hi."

It was Edward, hours early. My heart rate increased. I looked into his face and saw no trace of anger, only his perfect, crooked smile at seeing me.

He walked into the hallway, closing the door behind him. He reached behind me and placed one hand on my back, and raised his other hand so it was resting on my cheek. Then, my heart soaring wildly, he crushed his cold lips to my warm ones.

I was so shocked by his lack of rage that I didn't overreact and throw too much in to the kiss. But that didn't matter – he was doing that for me.

His eager lips had opened mine and I felt his cool, sweet tasting breath flood into my mouth. I raised my arms around his neck, and he shifted his left hand from my cheek to my hair.

This lasted several minutes. Several perfect minutes, edging farther and farther past the severe lines Edward Cullen had drawn for our relationship.

Finally, when I was seconds away from passing out, Edward pulled back and then hugged me tight to his hard chest. We stood there for a few minutes, both catching our breath as he stroked my long, brown hair.

"You don't know what you do to me Bella," he whispered. "Your heart beat is so strong, sometimes it feels like it is my own heart beating again."

"But, it _is_ yours, Edward, whether it's beating or not, my heart is yours," I whispered with short breath, "forever."

He pulled back from me, still holding me tight, and looked into my eyes with his bright gold ones. He looked like he was trying to solve a difficult math problem.

"Will you go somewhere with me today," he asked, "Before we go to my house?"

"Yes," I said weakly. I would have thrown myself off another cliff if he was there beside me.

Ten minutes later, we were flying down the freeway in the Volvo towards an unknown location. I had wanted to take the truck, whose speed was confined to fifty-five miles per hour, but Edward had gotten his way, saying we would get back too late if we took the truck.

I was playing with my hands, trying to concentrate on them rather than the blurred scenery out my window. Edward's hand shot out of nowhere and grasped my left hand. I looked up with him, and saw he had that same calculating expression on his face. What was odder was his attention to the road.

"Is something wrong," I asked.

He looked over at me, then leaned over and stole a quick kiss.

"The road," I shrieked as he righted himself in his seat again.

His face turned up into a perfect half smile, listening to my heartbeat.

"That," I said, referring to my speeding heart, "was because of that ridiculous stunt you pulled, not because - -"

"I kissed you," his smile grew bigger as he threw a glance at my face. He laughed, seeing the scared expression there.

I tried to pull my hand from his, but he brought it up to his mouth and kissed it. Then he flipped my hand over and found my pulse at my wrist. He kissed it, and still tightly entwined, dropped our hands down on the seat between us.

An hour passed in blissful silence.

"Bella," Edward said, with uncharacteristic hesitancy, "the reason for this excursion is, I wanted to talk to you about some things, and I also want to apologize."

"About what?" I asked, confused, as we pulled into an empty parking lot on my right side.

"I'll explain in a few minutes," he said, as he pulled into one of the many parking spaces.

He got out, shut his door, and came around the car to open mine in impossible time. He leaned down and scooped me out of the car.

"Where are we?" We had been driving north for some time. We were still surrounded by moss-covered trees, but it smelled salty. The humid air was warm as it pressed down on us.

"I realized that we had never been to the beach together," he said. He had shut my door and, him still carrying me, we went through a thin forest of trees.

There was a reason we had never been to the beach together. It was because La Push was on the beach nearest Forks, and according to the treaty, Edward would never be able to go there, without starting a war, anyway.

Thinking of La Push, Jacob's face swam in front of mine. I had always associated the beach with Jacob, _my Jacob_. I felt a pang of guilt, visiting the Pacific with Edward. It felt so unnatural. But, I would have to put that from my mind...for Edward. I was his fiancé now, I chose him, not Jacob.

"Are you going to fall asleep before we even get there," asked Edward, chuckling.

I smiled. I would let him believe that. There was no reason to hurt him.

The water came into view when we were a few feet from the edge of the forest. It was dark nearest the shore but farther out the sun, hidden behind near clouds, sent fire like sparkles gleaming from its surface.

"It's beautiful," I said. It truly was. It was unlike the beach had ever been with Jacob. I'm not sure if it was being there with Edward that made it so much more beautiful, or maybe the small amount of sunlight hitting the water made it look more gold than gray.

As I had been looking out into the vast ocean, my arms wrapped around Edward's neck, he had been staring down at me. "It doesn't even compare to your beauty."

I turned my face to look up into his. His gold eyes seem to dance, as if a flame was wavering behind them. This intensity of his gaze stole a beat of my heart before it restarted, more rapid than before. I yearned for something to happen, anything. I thought I would very well die if he held his gaze for one more moment.

Almost as if he had read my mind, he lowered his head and lowered his lips to my throat. I had a quick flash of my dream, in which the dream Edward had done this to my dream daughter. The thought was quickly extinguished; however, as I felt Edward's lips moving along mine. He was all that mattered. Nothing else in the world existed.

I could hear his breath, for once as loud as mine. Still kissing me, he walked us all the way to the water's edge, kicked off his shoes, and walked into the shallow, shifting waves. Slight splashes of water kicked up at the skin exposed by my spaghetti-strap top, and long, flowing skirt.

He pulled away for a moment and stared blazingly into my eyes. "You're so perfect, Bella," he whispered fiercely. "I have no doubt that there is a God. No other being could have designed a creature as exquisite as you."

He set me down into the water, which almost reached my knees. My feet were bare, my sandals had fallen sometime when he had been kissing me; I hadn't noticed. I placed my hands on his chest and stretched up to my tiptoes to kiss him again.

He responded wrapping his arms around my waist. Slowly I moved up my hands to his shoulders and again, he responded, pulling me up so that my legs were wrapped around his torso.

My head was now slightly above his. I tilted my face down, as he raised his up to mine. Our lips met once more. He spun us gently around and then lowered us both into the water, his lips never leaving mine. The water lapped at our still entwined bodies, my skirt flowed out eerily where it hit the water.

"Are you cold," he asked, his voice hoarse.

I simply laughed. Every part of my body was consumed in a passionate flame.

**_A/N- I'll be getting more chapters up soon. Please review!_**


	5. Their Baby Girl

**_A/N-Please review this chapter at the end! I don't own the characters, wish I owned Edward, but I don't._**

I was exhausted when Edward finally laid me down on the ground, which, unlike the La Push beach, was covered in a soft sand

I was exhausted when Edward finally laid me down on the ground, which, unlike the La Push beach, was covered in a soft sand.

He laid down next to me, his incredible strength was nothing to the human emotions he was so unused to.

We were both breathing hard, still wildly alive after our affections along the shore. The careful line still remained, but every time we were alone together, it felt like our entwined hands slipped farther towards the edge.

Edward had made it perfectly clear that day in the meadow that his resistance was failing. His defenses seemed to strengthen slightly when he realized that it had become important to me that we wait. I knew that ultimately that was what he wanted, for things to be done in the right order, as if it were 1918 again.

I would give him that. I _could _give him that, if nothing else.

Edward sat up, stretching his legs out in front of him. He leaned over and pulled me up so that my head was leaning against his stone-like chest.

"I didn't plan that," he said suddenly, "I really did plan this so that we could have a chance to talk."

"Yeah, well maybe we can do that," I said wearily, "if I ever catch my breath."

"Yes, I suppose I didn't think of that when we took at little...ah, detour."

I wrapped my right arm around his back, and laid my left hand on his chest, beside my head. I could have easily fallen asleep, it didn't matter that my rest was so unyielding. Everything was softer in his arms.

"Perhaps," he said, sounding extremely content, "we could just wait until later."

He stroked my hair, and kissed the top of my head. _okay, yeah I'll just sleep_, but then another part of me disagreed, _don't you remember what he was acting like earlier? He had something important to say!_

I pulled myself up so that I was supporting my own weight, at least. "No, I'm sorry, you had something you wanted to talk to me about."

"A few things actually, but if your—"

"No, I'm not. I'm awake, say what you wanted to say."

"Okay," he said after a moment. "Well first, I want to apologize, about this morning. I was very cold to you, and that wasn't fair." He held up a hand as I had opened my mouth to protest his apology. "But, because, and I must be honest with you, it drives me mad not knowing, I have to ask you: what did you dream about?"

I frowned sadly, "I'm sorry, Edward, I can't tell you that."

He nodded stiffly, and kept his features carefully fixed. "I understand." I knew in my heart that he meant it and a few tears leaked from my eyes.

He looked down startled. "Did I say something?"

"Yes," I whispered faintly. "You said everything."

His beautiful face looked so confused, I let out a half –laugh – half – sob.

"I just mean, that I know _you_ really mean it," I said awkwardly.

"Is there any chance that this new redeeming quality you've discovered will earn me the privilege of hearing your dream?" Edward asked, half-joking, but also half-serious.

I looked sadly into his eyes, "It's never a matter of you earning anything, Edward,"

"Yeah, that's what you told Alice," Edward said indifferently, "something about not hurting me. But, no matter, I do understand, love. They are _your_ dreams, and as long as I know you're safe in your own mind, I don't care if I know." There was a defiant edge to his voice and I knew he was speaking more to himself than me. "The other thing I wanted to talk to you about was the truck."

I looked up at him, had I heard him right? "My... my truck?" How had we managed to switch topics so fast?

"Yes," he said. "I realize you have a rather – odd – attachment to the –"

"It's an extremely reliable truck Edward," I said, exasperated.

"Yes. That's why I wanted to ask for one small favor. You know, just something small."

"What?" I asked suspiciously.

"You keep driving your truck until it dies, and, when it does, you allow me to replace it," Edward said casually, playing with a strand of my hair.

"I – no – you know I hate it when you buy me things," I replied.

"This is different. And, after all, in less than two months, you'll be my wife. So, what's mine is yours."

I bit my lip to keep myself from groaning. _A wife. Me_. _And Edward will be my – my _husband_._

"Well," I said calmly, "that's true, but as your fiancé, yours is still yours and mine is still mine. My truck, my choice of replacement."

Edward frowned, obviously not liking the distinct separations I was making. "That doesn't matter, Bella," my heart fluttered as he said my name. "Anything I have, anything I can give you, is yours."

Eying my stubborn face, he said, "What can I do to persuade you?" He looked down at me mischievously. "I could kiss you, but you've already said no, so I suppose I'll just have to keep my lips to myself."

Before I could think, I stretched up to his face and kissed him. He kissed me for a moment before pulling back. "Wait," he said laughing, at the desperate look on my face, "this does mean we have a deal?"

"Deal," I whispered breathlessly before I kissed him. He passionately kissed me back, as if determined to make my agreement worth it.

I day dreamed through most of the drive home. The sun was setting and flashes of it would occasionally sneak through the clouds, sending ruby-red sparkles at my closed eyelids. I would look up at Edward, smile, and admire his glistening skin before drifting away.

I felt the car pull over and opened my eyes to look out the window. We were at the end of the long drive that led to the Cullen home.

"Did you sleep well?" Edward asked.

"I couldn't sleep, I could only think of you," I answered honestly.

He smiled, "Well it's good you didn't fall asleep then, a monster like me could give you nightmares." He was only joking, but it scraped close to the memory of the nightmare I _had _had about him.

"Never," I said. He took my odd expression, luckily for exhaustion, rather than weariness.

"Why don't I take you home, you look tired," he brushed his cold hand along my face.

"It's only 7:30," I said looking at the dashboard, "besides, Alice will be disappointed."

"Don't worry about Alice. No, I think I will take you home, Charlie won't like it if I let you pass out, and I wouldn't much care for that either."

We arrived at my house less than twenty minutes later. He walked me to the house and into the entry hall. He was about to say goodbye (even though he planned to return in no more than an hour), when Charlie walked in. I had tried to quickly snatch my arm from around Edwards back, but he firmly kept in place.

"Hello, Charlie," said Edward, in what came across as an arrogant tone.

"Edward," Charlie said gruffly. "Bella, why don't you get on upstairs, you look exhausted."

"No, I –"

"Really, Bella you should," Edward said. Something in his voice told me that Charlie's thoughts weren't happy.

Edward kissed me on the cheek (Charlie cringed), and I made my way upstairs, stopping at the top where I knew I wouldn't be seen. _What the hell did Charlie think he was doing? What was he going to say to Edward, hadn't he "given us his blessing?"_

I finally heard Charlie's voice coming up the stairs as he thought I was now out of earshot. "Edward, there are a few things that go along with me giving you two my blessing. Now you'd better listen up, because this is my baby girl we're talking about...

**_A/N-So? How was that. I'll try to get another chapter up soon, it could be a couple days, though._**


	6. What He Would Never Know

**_A/N-Enjoy, please review_**

There I was, hiding at the top of the stairs, forced to eavesdrop on my father and fiancé's conversation

There I was, hiding at the top of the stairs, forced to eavesdrop on my father and fiancé's conversation. _I could kill him_, I thought, as Charlie started talking again.

"Edward, there are a few things that go along with me giving you two my blessing. Now you'd better listen up, because this is my baby girl we're talking about. First off, you'd better remember that she's only eighteen, you guys are still both children and you really don't know what the hell your doing."

_Oh, I _would_ kill him, _I thought.

"Second, I'm not sure if you're aware, but Bella made a promise to me. She promised me that you two wouldn't be..." he paused, embarrassed, "_doing _anything. Now, if I hear something different – if I hear your pressuring her in anyway – "

"You needn't worry about that Charlie. Bella and I both wish to do things in the right order," said Edward in calm and confident voice.

"Yeah, well, okay," Charlie muttered.

"Was there anything else you wanted to speak to me about?" Edward asked, clearly he knew there was more on Charlie's mind.

"Edward," Charlie's voice sounded calmer, but sad somehow, "I really want to believe you're going to take care of her. I'm having a hard time, thought. I keep seeing her face after you left. I don't know if she could make it through something like that again."

It was a moment before Edward spoke, "I understand. I know I hurt her, and I know, especially now, that I've never deserved her. Even so, Charlie, I love her, and she has forgiven me. I'm too selfish to let her go again. I swear to you, there is nothing more important in my world than her."

His words took my breath away. I was sure his hypersensitive hearing was picking up my gasping breath. I love you I murmured so only he could hear it. I could hear Charlie shifting around on his feet.

"You know it's scary for a father to hear that. Some days it makes me want to shoot you and on other days, I think I almost forgive you – you know – for what you did to her," Charlie laughed awkwardly.

Edward laughed softly, "She's lucky to have you Charlie. Good Night."

With that I heard him open the front door, and then shut it behind him.

"I still can't believe those things he said to you!" I exclaimed. It was the next night and Edward, Alice, and I were discussing the previous night in the Cullen's living room. I was sitting on Edwards lap as he played with my hair.

"Again, Bella, it's fine. I thought he was quite cordial, actually," said Edward.

"Cordial?! Edward, he told you he wanted to shoot you!"

Alice laughed as Emmet walked in.

"I personally think it would be hilarious if tried to shoot you," Emmet said.

"No it wouldn't! That would take a lot of explaining don't you think?" I exclaimed. Emmet just laughed.

"I wouldn't worry about it Bella, from the other things he said, it sounds like he's softening up towards Edward again," said Alice.

"Oh, it just makes me mad though, and sending me to my room like that while he has it out with _my _fiancé."

Edward smiled at that, it was the first time I'd ever proclaimed the fact that we were getting married proudly.

"What are you smirking at?" I asked, annoyed.

He didn't answer, but leaned over and kissed my nose.

"Speaking of wedding plans –" Alice began.

"Alice, do we really need to discuss this now?" Edward asked, breathing in the scent of my hair. "I'm aware of that," said Edward, answering Alice's unspoken thoughts.

"Oh, come on!" She exclaimed. "Look, Bella understands."

They both looked at me as I looked back at them, confused. "Sorry but you guys realize I missed like ninety percent of the conversation you just had, right?"

Alice seized the opportunity to speak, cutting across Edward. "Well, Bella it's just that, it's getting close to the wedding, and there's a lot to be done for it."

"Yeah, that's fine, I trust you to plan everything," I said,

"Oh, but what's the fun in that? It's supposed to be the maid of honor _and _the bride planning everything," she replied. I swallowed, I was the bride, how – ugh – it felt.

"I don't know Alice, this is your area of expertise, isn't it?" I really didn't want anything to do with it at all. I wouldn't even be the one walking down the aisle if it weren't necessary.

Alice groaned. "Fine, will you at least see what I've done so far?"

"Sure, Alice," I said as she bounced out of the room.

"This is really bothering you," Edward observed.

"No, of course not," I said, a little too quickly.

"You know it's not too late if you want to downgrade everything," Edward said.

"No, I'm sure about this. And anyway, I'd be shocked if Alice hadn't sent out the invitations already."

Alice came bounding back into the room carrying two frilly, white boxes. "As a matter of fact, I do. Edward, if you try stealing this wedding away from me one more time I just might not let you be in the wedding at all. Oh wait until you see the invitations, Bella, you're going to love them."

"Hey Edward," Emmet yelled from the other room, "we know you like your frills, but if you can drag yourself away, Jasper and I are going out."

"Go on," I said, smiling as brightly as I could, "I'll just be here, ummm...wedding planning."

"Are you –" Edward started.

"Gosh Edward, get out," and just as she had done the day she showed me my dress, Alice shoved Edward out the door.

Alice opened the first box and started showing me the place settings and announcements. We sat there for ten minutes, her handing me pictures and scraps of material to look over.

"You know the boys are gone," Alice said.

"Yeah, so?" I asked, skeptical of what was coming next.

"Well," she said, "you could tell me why you're so hesitant about this wedding stuff."

"I can't tell you that, and you know why," I said, "Besides, there's nothing to tell."

"Than you wouldn't have said you couldn't tell me. Plus I'm getting pretty good at not thinking about things around him.

I took a deep breath, I had to talk to someone about everything I was feeling.

"You're sure you can keep this to yourself?" I asked, feeling unsure.

"Absolutely," she said.

Then I did it. I told her everything; from the dream to my hesitations about marriage. Everything I would never want Edward Cullen to know.

**_A/N- Okay this is the last one for a couple days because I won't have access to a computer, but I promise, there'll be more!_**


	7. Alice's Advice

**_A/N - A few of you have expressed concern over who Bella is going to end up with. As this is supposed to bridge the gap between Eclipse and the reccently released 1st chapter of Breaking Dawn (and it might go into the wedding if BD isn't out yet), I'll just say that everything, so far, is looking to be in Edward's favor. _**

**_Enjoy!_**

I wasn't sure what feeling was stronger. As I laid in my bed staring up at the ceiling I couldn't decide if I was more anxious or relieved. Venting to Alice had, at the time felt wonderful. The suffocating tightness in my chest seemed to loosen. Still, two weeks later, I couldn't help but panic. What if Alice's mind drifted innocently to our conversation? What if Edward didn't tune out her thoughts when she did?

Of course, I knew that if he heard anything of our conversation his overwhelming curiosity would not yield for my privacy. I couldn't bare the thought that even at this very moment, Edward could be unwinding all of my secrets.

"Bella!" I heard Charlie call. I groaned. He'd been whiny ever since he'd found out we were engaged.

I rolled out of bed fully dressed, and looked over at my clock. It read 7:33.

I dragged my feet as I made my way downstairs.

"Yes," I said, seeing Charlie sitting at the table, pouring over a folder of official looking documents.

"Jake's disappeared," he said, looking up at me seriously.

I bit my lip. I knew this already. I remembered last Friday when I'd received an unexpected phone call.

"Hello?" I'd answered.

"Bella?, this is Seth," said the voice in the phone.

"Oh, hi Seth. Uh, how's it going?" Although Seth and Edward had developed a rather unorthodox friendship since their teamwork against Victoria, I still felt awkward talking to anyone from the pack after I'd...

"Not so good," said Seth, interrupting my thoughts. "Bella," he exhaled into the phone, "Jake ran away. He turned into a wolf and just bolted. Sam wouldn't let us go after him; Quil and Embry tried."

I clapped a hand to my forehead. "Is he...did he say he'd come back?"

"I don't know. I mean, he has to come back sometime. This is his home, we're his brothers," said Seth sadly.

"I'm sorry, Seth," I said in a small voice, "this is my fault."

"No, Bella. You were always honest with him, things just got out of hand at the end..." Seth trailed off as we both recalled the passionate kiss Jake and I had shared.

"Seth, do you think – would it be too much to ask if – can you let me know if there's any news?" I finally got out.

"Yeah, no problem."

"Thanks, Seth," I said.

"Bye, Bella," He said as the phone clicked off.

"Bella! Bella? Did you here me?" Charlie asked, bringing me back to the present.

"Yes," I said, sadly.

"Do you know where he might have gone? Did he tell you anything?"

I let out a sad laugh, and shook my head. I hadn't heard a word from Jake since the day I delivered the last blow, shattering his heart which I had already broken so many times before.

"You don't seem very surprised," Charlie said, starting to sound angry.

"I'm not," I said, collapsing into a chair next to him, resigned. "I've known for a few days."

"_Days?_ You've known for _days _and you haven't bothered to say a word to me about it? Look, Bella, I know you're going to marry Edward and everything, but I'd of thought you'd still give a damn about your friend. He was there for you when – "

"Stop it!" I said harshly. "Don't you dare accuse me of not caring. Jake wasn't kidnapped, Charlie. He left _on his own_. I love him enough to still _give a damn_!"

I had curled up into a tight ball in my seat, my arms wrapped around my legs, my fists clenched.

"Yeah well you people around here have a funny way of showing it," he said quietly, again looking down at the papers spread out in front of him.

"What's that supposed to mean?"

"I just mean Billy and the others down there are acting just the same as you are," Charlie said stubbornly.

I didn't say anything else. What could I say? _Yeah dad, that's because Jake can transform into a dangerous oversized wolf. I think he can take care of himself._

I glanced over at the papers he was shuffling through when something caught my eye. It was a school picture of Jake printed under the bolded words _HAVE YOU SEEN THIS BOY?_

"Dad, that's not going to help," I said my voice dead of emotion.

"Bella, I've e been working with the law for a long time now, and this is the kind of stuff that brings kids home safe," Charlie said.

"Maybe he doesn't want to go home. Maybe he just needed to escape from stuff," I said.

"Yeah, you certainly gave him a – " Charlie paused, and I was almost certain he would have said I had given Jacob a reason to leave. "Look, Jake just needs a little help getting back. I've faxed these flyers out to all the police stations in Washington, and the guys and I are going to post these around town tomorrow. We could use some help, do you want to take a stack and just – "

"No, I don't, dad. I'm sorry, but I can't," I said firmly.

"Fine. You can go if you're not going to be helpful."

I dragged myself back up the stairs, tears starting to form in my eyes.

I looked over at my clock, it read 7:46. I had and hour and fourteen minutes to pull myself together before Edward was to arrive.

I reached a shaking hand out to my cell phone on my nightstand.

I pushed the number two button on my speed dial.

"Hello?" Answered a cheerful, soprano voice.

"Hey Alice," I said, keeping my voice even. "There's some _wedding _stuff I wanted to talk to you about." This had become our code over the past two weeks. If I needed to talk to Alice privately, I would tell her I wanted to discuss the wedding. This worked because I never actually _wanted_ to discuss the wedding. Then, if Edward was around to hear our conversation through her thoughts, she would say something like–

"Oh, yeah, I got your message about that. Why don't I come over and we can try and figure something out."

"Yeah, perfect, I'll see you in a few," I said.

I headed downstairs to Charlie, who was filling out paperwork in Jacob's file when I entered the kitchen.

"Hey dad, Alice is coming over for a few minutes, okay?" I asked, waiting apprehensively for him to lash out at me again.

"That's fine Bells," he answered, distracted.

A couple of minutes later the doorbell rang. I opened the door and Alice instantly pulled me into a hug.

After a moment, she let go of me. I tried to quickly wipe away the new tears that burned in my eyes, but she wasn't fooled.

"Let's go upstairs to my room," I said.

Shutting the door behind us, we both sat down on the bed.

"What is it, Bella?" Alice asked.

"I – well a couple days ago, Seth called. He told me that Jake ran away. I'm not sure if I understand why, though. I mean, I knew he was unhappy, because of everything, I've put him through, but I don't know what pushed him over the edge weeks after the fact," I said. I could have sworn I saw Alice stiffen at my side.

"Everything probably just caught up with him, Bella," Alice said, once again, perfectly at ease. "And, Bella, you can't beat yourself up over this. You made your decision and I have no doubt that you're a hundred percent sure about it. Jake knew how you felt all along – "

"Exactly, Alice. He knew all along that I loved him too," I said, angry with myself for leading him on for so long.

"He – no one – and especially him, had any doubt who you would choose in the end," Alice said.

"Edward did," I whispered quietly. "I can't blame him for that, not after I – after agreeing to marry Edward – kissed Jacob like that. You can't deny that I hurt him, Alice."

"Edward understands Bella. He knows you're human and he knows that it was because of him that you grew to love Jacob. If he was hurt, Bella, it was only because he was angry at himself for creating the situation in the first place," Alice finished.

"I'm worried about him being far away, and – a small part of me – is worried about him coming back, you know, afterwards," I admitted.

Alice groaned, "if you aren't careful, you're going to have a heart attack before he even has a chance to change you." A small smile reached my lips.

"You need stress management. Okay, I have an idea. What makes you happy, happier than anything?" she asked as my smile widened.

"Edward," I said simply.

"Okay, good. And what would you like to do most with him?" She asked.

My cheeks flushed as I thought about "trying."

She looked confused for a moment, and then a look of understanding crossed her face, "Well, you don't have to say it out loud. Now, when ever you're worried or having doubts just think about that. Go to your happy place," she said.

"My _happy place_?" I asked incredulously. _Does she think I'm mental?_

"Just trust me. Next time, if you can't get a hold of me, try it. All you have to do is – "

"Just go to my happy place." I finished.

"That's right," she said cheerfully.

**_A/N - Please review!_**


	8. Stutter and Die

**_A/N - I don't own any of this lot, wish I did, thanks for all of the reviews!_**

I didn't think it was possible, but my week was getting worse. I'd had to visit my happy place one too many times and it was starting to tick me off.

I had gotten into my truck, about to leave for work, and it wouldn't start.

"No!" I said, frantically whining to myself. I turned the key again. The engine stuttered and it went dead. I tried again and nothing happened. This was the last thing I needed, to be late to work and then to have Edward find out.

Oh, he would be _thrilled_. He'd have a new car for me by tomorrow morning, tonight if he could manage.

It wasn't like I could take it in to get it fixed. That would cost a fortune. And, for obvious reasons, I couldn't have Jake, the only person who probably _could _fix it, do it.

I groaned, and laid my head down on the steering wheel. It was odd, my truck had been working great yesterday. It had always worked great, and now, without the slightest warning, it was dead. It seemed a little too sudden.

"Edward, I hate you," my muffled voice said into the steering wheel. _There is no way I'm going to let you just kill my truck_, I thought.

I picked up my cell phone, trying to decide who to ask for a ride to work. I would walk the rest of the week, but I was running too late to do that now. I refused to call Edward and it would do no good to call Alice who was probably with Edward.

Then it hit me. I quickly pressed the buttons on my phone.

"Hello?"

"Hey, Angela, it's Bella," I said.

"Oh, hey Bella!" she said.

"Can I ask you a favor? My truck just died; do you think you can give me a ride to work?" I asked pathetically.

"Sure, I'll be right there. Are you still at your house," she said.

"Yeah. Thank you so much."

I only had to wait five minutes for Angela to pull up in her mom's mini van.

I climbed into the van and pulled the door shut behind me.

"Wow, I can't believe that thing actually died," she said.

"I know. It was working great just yesterday. Thanks again for the ride," I said.

"No problem. It's good to see you. We haven't spent much time together with my parents dragging me across the country as my graduation gift. I wanted a car, but they were set on this fifty states tour," she said.

"You guys went to all fifty states in a month?" I asked.

"No. We were supposed to go to forty-eight, the continental U.S., but we only actually hit about twenty-seven. Dad broke his leg," she said.

"Oh my gosh, what happened," I asked.

"We were taking this boat tour of the Everglades and dad fell out of the boat," she said grimly. I took from her tone that it wasn't a happy topic and I didn't ask any more questions.

"I almost forgot; congratulations!" Angela said, with a renewed smile.

"What?" I asked.

"The news about the wedding, we got the invitation the day we got home," she said.

"Right," I said quickly, "thanks."

"I already called Alice to RSVP," she said.

"That's great," I said with forced joy in my voice.

"Well here we are," she said pulling over in front of Newton's.

"Thanks. We'll have to hang out soon, now that you're home," I said.

"Definitely," she said before driving away.

As I opened the store door, the ring on my finger glimmered, mocking me.

I clocked in and got to work. It was awkward, as Mike was working today. Ever since the news of my engagement had gotten out, Mike had grown even weirder around me. If we would so much as brush shoulders, he would jump and mutter a quick apology before running off.

Today was worse, because Mrs. Newton was working and she wanted to hear all about the wedding plans.

"Bella," she said, "I just love the invitations. The flowers are just beautiful. Did you pick the design out?"

"No, Alice did. She's actually been helping me with most the planning."

For the next half hour, Mrs. Newton kept me working at the front of the store so she could get every detail. I didn't know much, but I told her everything Alice had forced me to look over.

It was Mike who ended up saving me.

"So you said your dress had lace at the top right? Oh, and the shoes sound like they'll go perfect with that. But what about – "

"Mom," said Mike, emerging from behind a shelf carrying a couple boxes of boots, "she's told you everything she knows about the dress, and about the location, and about the food, and every other stupid thing you've asked her about."

"Mike, you will not use that tone with me. I don't care if you're eighteen, I'm still your mother," she said huffily. But she kept quiet after that.

As I was clocking out I thought about the walk home ahead of me. My feet were tired from moving around the store all day.

I walked outside to find the Volvo, parked with it's god like owner leaning against it. I deliberately avoided looking into Edward's face; I wanted to be angry with him right now.

He raised his eyebrows as I glared at him. "Would you like a ride or were you planning on walking?" He said, trying not to laugh at my expression.

"As a matter of fact I was," I said, as I turned and started walking through the parking lot towards the sidewalk.

I could hear him laughing as I walked past where he was standing. I had reached the sidewalk when I felt him fall in step next to me.

"Would it be alright if I joined you?" He asked.

"I can't stop you," I said grudgingly.

"With your luck you'd get hit by a car on your way home," he said. I pressed my lips into a tight line.

"Or you'd get kidnapped. You know I've noticed it's really the small towns you've got to watch out for – "

I quickly stopped and turned to look at him. "Look, you're hilarious and everything, but as you should know since you caused it, I'm not exactly having the greatest day."

His expression went from amused to exasperated, "Bella, what is it that I've done?"

"My perfectly running truck gave out today, Edward. I'm sure you can tell me why," I said as I faced forward and started walking again.

"Your truck is nearly fifty years old. It's not unheard of for a car to stop working after operating for that amount of time," he said innocently.

"I don't believe you," I said stubbornly.

"I am sorry about your truck, Bella, but I know a way to cheer you up," he said happily.

"Hmmm," I said, "and what might that be?"

"I'll show you," he said confidently, grabbing my elbow.

"Hey!" I said.

"It's at my house, I thought it would be quicker if we drove there," he said.

I looked behind me at the road that would continue to wind around the trees until it got to my house. I could keep walking and refuse to go.

"I won't make you," he said dropping my elbow, "but it looks like it's about to rain."

I groaned and started walking back towards the Volvo.

**_A/N - Please Review!_**


	9. Shiny, Sleek, and Foreign

**_A/N-Sorry it's been so long, but that's summer for you. Enjoy!_**

"So if you didn't take the truck apart, how did you know it wasn't working?" I asked, still in full pout mode as we made are way to the turn off leading to the Cullen home.

"Alice saw you walking home," he said.

"But she didn't see me this morning when it wouldn't start? Or maybe she did and you didn't come because showing up right away would be too obvious. You know destroying your girlfriend's car and then leaving her stranded just isn't very –"

"Bella, do you think I would have left you stranded if I had known. Alice wasn't home this morning, I believe she was working on wedding plans," he said, the definition of sincerity.

I stiffened. The wedding was the last thing I wanted to talk about with Edward. "Yeah, sorry, I overreacted," I said quickly, my face turning pink.

He had just pulled into the garage and shut the Volvo's engine off. He hadn't missed my body language. _Why do I always give myself away_, I thought.

He turned in his seat to face me and his eyes narrowed in a beautiful way. I played with my hands and stared at the dashboard in front of me. I could feel his gaze burning through the atmosphere between us and right into my blushing cheeks.

"Bella, is there something else going on?" I jerked my head up quickly looking at him with wide eyes, my mouth slightly open as I tried to form words. _What did he know? Had Alice let something slip?_

"I - I'm not sure what you mean," I said, biting my lip and facing forward again.

"I know something is wrong," he said softly, as though he was preparing to coax it out of me. "I know that you and Alice are never discussing the wedding. Her thoughts have been oddly distracted lately."

My heart was racing. _What should I say? _My thoughts raced frantically for something, as my cheeks drained and faded to a pale, sickly gray. "What do you mean – distracted?" I asked, finally.

"It's normal for people to think about the conversation they just had with someone, say, over _wedding plans_. What's odd is when, instead, _someone_ is thinking about Russian politics," said Edward with a knowing look.

I cleared my throat softly and, despite the anxious feeling in the pit of my stomach, I had to fight to keep a smile off my face. "Russian politics? Yeah well, you know how Alice and I are when we get together. It's no work and all...foreign affairs," I let the grin fall onto my face and pushed my door open.

As I stepped out of the car, Edward was already there. He grabbed my hand and helped me out.

"Aren't you going to tell me – "

"You said you had a surprise for me right?" I asked, ignoring him completely. "So what is it?" I said, looking up at him expectantly.

He stared straight into my eyes and took a deep, unnecessary breath. "Fine," he said, but I could tell he would bring the subject up later. "Now, I don't want you to get upset, remember our deal," he said, somewhat firmly.

"What deal?" I asked suspiciously. But I already knew.

"Come on," He grabbed my hand, and started to pull me towards the other end of the garage rather than to the door that led into the house.

"Edward, is this really necessary, _right now_?"

"You wanted to know what the surprise was," he said, smirking now.

Behind us, the door opened. "Wait, I want to see her face when she sees it," yelled Emmet, followed by a booming laugh.

Edward sighed and waited as Emmet, Rosalie, Alice, and Jasper covered the distance between the door and Edward and I impossibly fast.

We walked a couple more feet until we reached to tarp covered shapes. Edward quickly pulled the tarp off of the one closest to us.

It took all of my strength to keep me from covering my face, turning around, and banging my head on the wall. Instead, I did my best to keep a grimace off my face. I bit my bottom lip and took a deep breath through my nose. Emmet and Jasper were laughing and Rosalie was giving Edward a smug look.

Edward grabbed my shoulders and looked down into my face. "We had a deal, Bella," he said.

Alice let out a loud groan, "Oh come on Bella, it's a Mercedes!"

"Yeah, it's great, thanks," I said with a forced smile. Emmet laughed louder. Even Rosalie had started laughing. I didn't see what was so funny. Yeah, I was ticked off.

Edward gave me an exasperated look before letting a grin spread across his face. "Do you want to take it for a drive?"

I gave him an incredulous look. This car wasn't some bargain buy from a local dealer. As a matter of fact I had never seen a car like this at any of the dealers on the Olympic Peninsula. It was a shiny, sleek, black car with heavily tinted windows. It looked powerful...it looked _foreign_.

"That is – just – that's a bad idea," I said.

"I know you're used to your truck, but I think you will like this if you give it a try," he said soothingly.

I was in the middle of shaking my head when Emmet stopped laughing enough to form words, "I have to see her try and drive that thing."

Edward glared at him over my shoulder. "Emmet go inside you're only making things more difficult."

Emmet snorted as he and Rosalie left the garage. Alice was about to say something, but Jasper, sensing my mood, grabbed her arm and pulled her into the house.

"Edward," I said frantically, "I can't drive that thing, I'll crash it."

"You won't crash it," he said reassuringly. "I'll help you get used to it."

"This is too much, I can't imagine what this cost you –"

"Bella, that doesn't matter," he looked down into my unconvinced eyes. "Okay, I'll make you a deal. I'll drive it first, get us out of town, and then you can practice without having to worry about an audience," he said nodding towards the door.

He turned the full force of his eyes on me. "Fine, let's go," I said, defeated.

He gave me his perfect half smile and opened the passenger door for me. I sat down into the passenger seat. My jaw dropped. The car was filled with tiny dials and buttons and gauges. The seat was enormously comfortable and made out of perfectly smooth leather. Everything looked flawless.

I was still trying to get a hold of myself when Edward turned onto a deserted side road out of town. He pulled over to the side.

"Ready?" He asked.

My mouth open in horror, I shook my head slowly back and forth.

"Bella, I won't let anything happen to you," he said.

"Forget me, what about the car?" I asked.

"Nothing you do is going to hurt it, come on Bella. Please," he did it again. Those damn eyes dazzling me. It wasn't healthy for him to do that to me twice in one day.

"Alright, but you've been warned," I said. He laughed as we both opened our doors to switch spots.

**_A/N-Please Review!_**


	10. To Try, To Try

**_A/N-So it's been a very long time since I've posted a chapter and I apologize. I just wasn't sure if I should continue now that Breaking Dawn's out, but I've just felt really inspired_**

**_Please review and let me know if you'd like me to continue. Thank you._**

I was driving my _Mercedes _home reflecting on how unfair this whole day had been.

My _fiancé_ ruined my truck and then proceeded to buy me not only a new car, but a second new car.

After driving around for a while and, well, _parking _for a while, we'd gotten back to the Cullen's.

Getting out of the car I had been calm enough to inquire about the tarp covered car next to mine. I had assumed it was simply some project of Rosalie's.

"What's that?" I asked.

His eyes narrowed. _Oh great, not that look again, _I thought. "Well," he said, "When we made our deal about the car I realized it was simply that, a deal. It wasn't really a gift."

"Uh-huh," _where was he going with this_?

"_That_," Edward said, indicating the covered vehicle, "is a wedding present."

"For who?" I demanded. I could feel angry tears coming to my eyes.

He rolled his eyes, "Please don't be difficult, Bella. I've accepted your refusing other gifts, but this is different. Besides, if it makes you feel better the Guardian is only borrowed. You don't have to keep both."

"_The Guardian_?" I asked.

He rolled his eyes again. If he didn't look so gorgeous when he did that it would have been really annoying. "That's the car you've been driving all afternoon. Enough about this. You're getting your wedding present and you can't stop me," a smirk came across his face, "you just aren't strong enough." He gathered me in his arms. My attempts to fight him off were weak both physically and mentally. He chuckled.

Yes, my life was certainly unfair. Edward wasn't helping the balance either. I wanted only him and he was already way too much.

I pulled into the driveway. When I got into the house Charlie was sitting at the table looking over papers again.

"No luck, Bells," he sighed. I had to give him credit. He loved Jacob like a son. And, of course that's what he'd wanted, to be able to have barbeques down at La Push with his daughter, Bella, and son-in-law, Jacob. I bet he'd even looked forward to having grandchildren.

Instead he would marry his daughter off to Edward, the, in his eyes, arrogant, flakey obsession of his daughter's life. Then he wouldn't see her again. She would vanish, maybe send a couple of letters and that would be all. There certainly wouldn't be any grandchildren. That simply wasn't possible, how could it be?

"Sorry Charlie," I said. I wanted to cheer him up. "Hey dad, you wanna see something cool." He looked up at me like I was the shallowest person on earth. "Come on," I said walking to the door.

He followed me out into the heavily falling mist.

"Whoa! What's that?" He asked, seeing the car.

"A present, from Edward," I said. He looked at me funny but didn't say anything. I tossed him the keys, "take it for a drive."

He caught them despite my bad throw. "You sure?" He asked.

"Seriously dad, you don't think I'll let you drive my car?" He laughed before hopping in the car and driving around the corner.

_That was easy, _I thought. It wasn't difficult to cheer Charlie up when you had a, who knows how expensive, car.

I walked inside and curled up on the couch. Again, it would be hours before Edward came over. I went to my happy place...but didn't get very far. Something had just occurred to me.

Edward had promised we'd try. Though we'd gotten literally closer to each other over the past few weeks, we still weren't anywhere near enough. If we were going to try on our wedding night, shouldn't we ease into that. I didn't mean actually doing anything, but maybe not breaking off the moment as soon as I got out of breath. We could prolong things until our self control started to crumble...

How would I do it? I could just talk to him about it. Tell him everything I'd thought. Or maybe I could show him, if I could only keep him from stopping me, but maybe I could...

My phone rang and I jumped. The ID read: Alice.

I answered that call, "hello?"

"Bella, I don't recommend continuing whatever course your on," she said.

"What – Why?" I asked.

"It won't work, he'll take it better if you go about it the first way," she said.

"_He'll take it better_? What does that mean? Does he still take it bad - ?"

"Uh-uh," she said, "I'm not telling you that. The only reason I told you this, and I wasn't looking for it, by the way, is because I know how you've been stressing and I didn't think you'd need anything else to add to that."

I groaned, "fine." I was still going to do it. But I'd take her advice and talk things out with him first. "Thanks Alice," I said.

She let out a small laugh, "good luck."

What did that mean?

A while later I told Charlie good night and got ready for bed. My light had been out for ten minutes when Edward came through the window.

I was sitting on the edge of my bed. I looked up at him, smiling tentatively.

"What is it?" He asked, sitting down next to me.

"Nothing bad," I said. This was going to be tricky but I had plans...and back up plans.

He didn't seem to buy that but he gave me a small adorable smile, "So what's 'nothing bad'?" He asked softly.

I had to do this. I had to hold back all of my revulsion about marriage. "I'm happy about marrying you, Edward. There's nothing I want more than being your wife if it means you belong to me and I to you; for the rest of eternity."

"Good," he whispered, kissing me softly on the lips. He looked like he was glowing.

"You need to understand that, though. Just having you love me is more than enough," I said.

He seemed to accept that but looked slightly confused.

"I know that Bella. I feel that way, but a thousand times more," he said.

"Will you ever realize how much I love you?" I asked, side tracked.

"Will you ever realize how absurd the idea of you ever being able to love more is?" He asked.

"I take that as an insult," I said, frowning playfully.

"It was meant as praise. But there was something more you wanted to tell me," he always knew.

"Yes. I wanted you to know that's how I feel because there's something much more trivial – but important – that I wanted to discuss."

"Okay," he said, lightly stroking my face. At that moment the moon came out from behind the clouds making everything glow magically. His features were those of an angel. I had to concentrate on breathing.

"You look like a feather of heaven, dropped away and settled to the earth when the moon strikes your skin like that," he said, his features full of awe. He admired me as I admired him. It didn't make sense, I was so plain. "What were you saying?"

"It – well – it has to do with trying, you know, once we're married," I said.

His eyes narrowed the slightest bit but I could tell I'd done a good job of softening him up earlier. Not that I hadn't meant it, but it was still hard to say.

"Yes?" He asked, urging me on.

"I think we could be doing more to prepare," I said. This sounded so weird. "What I mean is – maybe we could strain our self control a tad more...and not break the _moment _so quickly." My face was growing warm.

He took my hand and played with it in his, looking down. "Bella," he said warmly, looking up at me, "we have to be careful – in so many ways." He paused, breathing in. "How much more can we tempt fate?"

"If it's going to happen eventually anyways, why can't we take small steps towards it. Won't it help if you slowly get closer to me rather than just _trying _to go all the way in one night?" He winced slightly and I wondered was going through his head. "Just little things, like not pulling away as quickly. When it comes time, I really want everything to work out."

"You know," he said, "a simple solution to this would just be to wait until you're changed."

I gave him a look. He sighed, "No, of course not, you always have to be difficult."

"Oh, you want it just as bad," I said.

"Exactly Bella. But what I want and what's best for you – what's safest for you – are completely different things. Then again, they are the same thing, because if something I wanted hurt you – " he looked like he was in pain. "If you hadn't stopped me that day in the meadow – well thank God you did – I _wouldn't_ have stopped. Besides, me hurting you isn't my only concern," he said.

"What are you saying?" I asked.

"Every time you touch me you tempt me to go forward to a place both of us have agreed we don't want – well, won't, go yet."

My stomach fluttered and I sighed. "But don't you see any logic in what I'm saying? Maybe taking things slower and not in one bound _is _what's safest for me!"

He looked like he indeed was considering it. "Bella," he ran his hand through his brilliant bronze hair, "we'll try okay."

I frowned. Was he serious? "Oh, I see. So, we'll try to try preparing for trying."

He laughed, "Yes. I think that's the way it has to be. Don't look like that, I said we'd try even if it is to try to try to try."

"I could beg, you know," I said, putting a pout on my face.

"No you won't!" He said with mock firmness.

I let a sly grin slip beneath my pout. "Please, Edward. Please, kiss me," I hadn't even sighed when his lips were crushing mine. He pulled me into him and then laid back on the bed with me on top of him. Our mouths ventured as far as they could without me being in danger of his venom coated teeth. His hands pressed tightly (but still softly from his perspective) around my hips. I pulled my hand through his hair.

Our bodies were pressed tightly together. I expected him to end this heaven about ten seconds later. But it didn't end...

Not that quickly.

**_A/N-I'd love your thoughts, thank you so much for reading!_**


	11. Tasting Danger

**A/N- So this chapter is from Edward's point of view. I know it's been forever and I'm very sorry. **

**Please enjoy and review.**

**_EPOV:_**

I was hunting with Jasper and Emmett about an hour out of Forks. The sun had gone down at least two hours before and I couldn't think about anything but Bella.

Her hair – those long luscious locks, dangerously dark and contrasting with her pure white skin. Her eyes – so aware, so inviting, alluring... Her delicate body...delicate curves. Her warmth.

I had to stop this. I couldn't think about that. I already had her working against my will, adding to it would only be that much more painful.

My mind fled to other things – though, still about Bella.

Danger. The danger I was putting her in. How she was, indeed, delicate, and my strength was anything but. I could kill her.

And what if I was being foolish about being immune to her scent. What would I be when I was that close to her. So intoxicated by her scent, that magnificent aroma. So consumed by the feel of her body beneath mine –

This needed to stop. For my resistance to her seduction (and my desires), but also because Bella and I had already achieved a much more elevated unification. One of mind.

That's a bit of an exaggeration as I coudn't read hers, but still, she'd exposed her mind to me in every other way she could. And I have given the same to her.

Her soul is so much more beautiful than any earthly or physical beauty. Her heart was good and pure.

I couldn't stand being away from her another moment.

"Emmett, take my car back, I'm leaving," I said.

Seriously. We just got here, Emmett thought. He came bounding into the clearing with Jasper trailing in after him.

His emotions are going haywire, Jasper thought to himself. I want to go see Alice now, he thought in a tone reflecting my melancholy mood.

"Geez Edward, your mood swings are getting to me," Jasper said.

"Is he feeling dirty things again, Jazz," asked Emmett tauntingly.

"Emmett, don't get me started on dirty thoughts. I have to deal with your foul mind almost every day of my existence," I said.

"Awww. Is that why you hang out with Bella more than us?" He asked, pretending to be hurt. "Or is it because you enjoy spending time in her bed...with her."

I growled and my brothers smirked.

"Alice mentioned you made some promises to Bella," Jasper said suggestively.

Emmett looked at the two of us confused. "What are you talking about?"

You haven't told him? I'm not surprised. He's going to find out eventually, and I recommend you have it happen when Bella isn't around, thought Jasper.

I sighed.

Stop having your own conversation! Emmett's thoughts demanded.

"Edward, what - ?"

"Bella and I are going to have a real honeymoon."

Emmett cursed before breaking up into hysterical laughter. "Now Edward, you understand what that means, right. Because, you see, there're the birds and bees, and – "

"Emmett, that's why you're always out of the loop," I said, annoyed.

"Okay, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, but," he cracked up again before putting on a straight face. "But, wow, that's a big step."

"I had to deal with heavy persuasion," I said grimly.

"Wait, Bella's pushing for it. I thought – "

"What Emmett? You thought I would push this?"

"No, well, I mean, it's only natural that you'd want – "

"I do, but I can wait. At least most days I think I can," I said uncertainly.

"Little, innocent, blushing Bella? Seducing you? It's weird. I just can't picture – "

"Don't picture anything," I exclaimed as I watched his thoughts cloud.

"Can I finish a sentence?" Emmett asked.

"I'm not sure if your capable of that," said Jasper, smiling. "But you just managed to finish a question."

Jasper's mind grew serious, "She's 18, Emmett, and she's human. She has hormones."

Emmett groaned, "I don't want another family life lecture, Jasper. I get that every time the principal at whatever school we happen to be at finds me making out with Rose."

Jasper snorted.

"You'll be fine, Edward," said Jasper, sensing my tension.

"That's what Carlisle says. He thinks I have enough control," I responded.

"It's amazing, Edward," said Emmett, his mind going to Rose and their many "activities."

"Second only to drinking human blood," added Jasper.

I sighed. My mind jumped back to Bella.

I needed to see her.

"I'm leaving before you two start to really get on my nerves," I said in a lame cover up.

Before I could think about it, I was sprinting down the road, getting closer and closer to my queen.

When I got to her house the light was out. I hoped she was awake so I could hear her beautiful voice once more today.

I looked up at the window. It was the entrance to her intoxicating lair.

When I hopped in the window she was sitting on the edge of her bed. She was wearing almost nonexistent shorts and a blue camisole. Her messy hair fell in alluring waves against her skin.

I was dazzled.

She looked up at me with a tentative smile.

I almost took her right then and there. How easily I could have swept up her fragile body in my arms. Her lips would find mine, and then maybe she'd wrap her warm body around me-

My body froze for a millisecond through this lapse, but it was so quick, she noticed nothing.

I dispelled the thoughts to the back of my mind and identified that type of Bella smile. She wanted to talk to me about something. Something that, as she knew me well enough to know, would bother me.

"What is it?" I asked, sitting down next to her. The heat off her skin radiated towards me.

"Nothing bad," she said, holding something back. I smiled at her attempt to be discreet.

"So what's 'nothing bad'?" I said gently, hoping my calm would make her feel at ease to tell me what was on her mind.

She looked cutely determined, and, despite the warning signals that told me I didn't want to know – I needed to know.

She looked up into my eyes, and my breath stopped, "I'm happy about marrying you, Edward. There's nothing I want more than being your wife if it means you belong to me and I to you; for the rest of eternity."

My heart swelled at her words. Her pounding heart was the beat to a majestic warmth filling my body. I didn't deserve her and yet she still wanted me, eternity with me. I kept my emotions concealed, though, not wanting to scare off her sudden proclamation.

"Good," I whispered, carefully kissing her lips. They were so soft. That one kiss wasn't enough. I was going to lean in and kiss her again when her sudden rush of words stopped me.

"You need to understand that, though. Just having you love me is more than enough," she said, almost breathlessly.

I had believed her the first time. I couldn't grasp her whole message. Her shielded thoughts were frustrating me.

"I know that Bella. I feel that way, but a thousand times more," I said.

"Will you ever realize how much I love you?" She asked, her cheeks reddening with frustration.

"Will you ever realize how absurd the idea of you ever being able to love me more is?" I asked. I could marvel at her endlessly for centuries, but I knew I could never deserve that degree of admiration.

"I take that as an insult," she said, putting on a charming frown.

"It was meant as praise. But there was something more you wanted to tell me," I said, overcoming our distraction.

"Yes. I wanted you to know that's how I feel because there's something much more trivial – but important – that I wanted to discuss." The ambiguity would have killed me if the melody of each word on her lips had not distracted me a little.

"Okay," I said, carefully running my hand along her cheek, trying to coax it out of her.

I was distracted again as moonbeams pierced the room. "You look like a feather of heaven, dropped away and settled to the earth when the moon strikes your skin like that," I said. She was looking at me with some sort of disconnected wonder. I didn't understand it. She seemed to see something in me, but I don't imagine anything in myself could provoke that sort of reaction. The frustration of not understanding her reminded me of a bigger one.

"What were you saying?" I reminded her.

"It – well – it has to do with trying, you know, once we're married."

This was the worst time for that. She'd filed me down to a marshmallow and now she wanted to provoke the fantasies I had stashed In the back of my head.

"Yes?" I urged her.

"I think we could be doing more to prepare," she said, blushing furiously. "What I mean is – maybe we could strain our self control a tad more...and not break the _moment _so quickly."

Strain our self control? She was insane. Mine was to my limit. And as to her use of our, she had none. Well an ounce, as she had demonstrated only once. I was pulling all the weight and I wanted her a thousand times more than she wanted me.

Though, something at my core was intrigued by her idea of preparation.

I took her small hand into mine to bring back focus. I looked up into her face "Bella, we have to be careful – in so many ways." I took a deep breath. Images of her dead or hurt at my hand shook me. "How much more can we tempt fate?"

"If it's going to happen eventually anyways, why can't we take small steps towards it. Won't it help if you slowly get closer to me rather than just _trying _to go all the way in one night?" I winced as glorious images made my will a heavier burden on my desire. "Just little things, like not pulling away as quickly. When it comes time, I really want everything to work out."

"You know a simple solution to this would just be to wait until you're changed."

She told me with one look that she was going to win this one. I sighed, "No, of course not, you always have to be difficult."

"Oh, you want it just as bad." I almost laughed. She sounded like she thought she was bluffing to convince me.

"Exactly Bella. But what I want and what's best for you – what's safest for you – are completely different things. Then again, they are the same thing, because if something I wanted hurt you – " I winced at the more painful images. "If you hadn't stopped me that day in the meadow – well thank God you did – I _wouldn't_ have stopped. Besides, me hurting you isn't my only concern."

"What are you saying?" Her eyes burned with curiosity.

"Every time you touch me you tempt me to go forward to a place both of us have agreed we don't want – well, won't, go yet."

Her heart stuttered. "But don't you see any logic in what I'm saying? Maybe taking things slower and not in one bound _is _what's safest for me!"

That would probably be true. If my body didn't need hers as painfully as it did right then. "Bella," I ran my hand through my hair, trying to calm myself down, "we'll try okay."

Her face fell. "Oh, I see. So, we'll try to try preparing for trying."

I laughed, she was the silliest creature alive. "Yes. I think that's the way it has to be." Her face fell tragically. It was like a knife had cut through me. "Don't look like that, I said we'd try even if it is to try to try to try."

"I could beg, you know," She said, putting a sexy pout on her face.

"No you won't!" I said, catching myself just in time to soften my voice so as not to hurt her. I couldn't take her begging: a more powerful technique than Jane's torture any day.

My attempt at kindness worked too well. Her seductive lips grew mischievous. "Please, Edward. Please, kiss me."

My lips pressed into hers as if she'd magically drawn them there...she had. I pulled her body to mine and laid back with her on top of me. I could feel every line and curve of her form against mine. I wanted to kiss her deeper but knew that wasn't possible. But I didn't stop her when her tongue started coating my lips with her sweet taste.

My body called for more. I placed my hands around her hips, pulling them down on me. Her hands tangled in my hair.

I could feel all of her on me. Her unbound chest heaving into mine, her thighs wrapping around my entranced body.

I let her breathe and went down to kiss her neck. As I moved my head down I could see her small top was slipping down dangerously.

I flipped us over and her legs wrapped around me. Her pounding heart kept me moving farther into this unsafe venture.

Unsafe.

I moved again so that we were both on our sides. I rolled over onto my back trying to breathe and clear my head. She tried to stop me but seemed to need air – of course she needed air, I needed it and I didn't really need it... I couldn't think with her that close.

I couldn't think. I had very little control and that was very dangerous.

**A/N- Please review!! Do you want me to write more?**

**Thanks for reading**


	12. That Concern

**A/N- Hey guys, it's up! Enjoy!**

I'd spent the night with Edward in his room twice. Only twice out of our year and a half of knowing each other. For any other couple, this might not mean anything. But considering that Edward had slept over in my room literally hundreds of times, this simply wasn't fair.

There was something about his house – more specifically his room – that got him to drop his guard just a little. It made sense. The very fact that my room was thought of as "Bella's room" was bad. It made him more conscious of my fragility. It made me come off softer with the rocking chair and my childhood paintings – more virgin, more of a girl who's virtue needed protecting. It also didn't help that the bed was way too small and, oh yeah, Charlie was in the room across the hall snoring.

In Edward's house their was class and maturity, parents who didn't care, and a very spacious bed. What was better, many of the house's occupants often left in mass to hunt...and many times these were overnight trips.

It just so happened that this exact circumstance was occurring on Friday.

Alice had drug me with her to do final wedding errands when I got the scoop.

"What do you think of this pattern, Bella?" Alice asked me.

"Uhhh..."

"I know, it doesn't match the pattern on everything else, but look at it!"

I wasn't really sure what I was looking at. "Is it for flowers?"

Alice's eyebrows slanted disapprovingly. "It's a napkin holder, Bella!"

"Oh. Right."

"Are you okay," she said, still with a bit of a frown on her face.

"Um, yeah," I lied. She didn't believe me. I decided not to tell her the whole truth, which was that I was bored out of mind, and settle for something that was always true.

"I just miss, Edward."

Alice groaned, "Geez! Can you two be a way for each other for ten minutes? You're always moping and Edward's always whining, or on edge, or going on about how beautiful you are. I can't even mention the wedding around him anymore because he gets this dorky smile on his face and then he whines again because he's not going to see you for fifteen minutes."

Alice glared at the napkin holder in her hand for a second before gasping and jumping in jubilation. "I know! I'll get this one and have Franz make another one and duplicate your pattern onto it."

"Who's Franz?" I asked

"He makes custom table settings," Alice said, rolling her eyes as if she'd told me this. She probably had. She looked up at me again. "I'm hurt, Bella. I just told you Franz is going to design you custom napkin holders and you still look like your about to cry. This is my time Bella. You and Edward are going to have all weekend alone together."

I'd been phasing out but the last part caught my ear. "What?"

"He hasn't told you? That's weird. We're going down to Northern California to do some hunting. Everyone thinks I need a break from the wedding – which I don't! – and we haven't hunted anywhere real great lately so we're going. We tried to get Edward to come, but he 'won't go more than ten miles away from you for any given time.'" She rolled her eyes.

I looked at some china patterns to my right so that she couldn't see the look of hopeful glee on my face.

Alice laughed. "You have him wrapped around your little finger, don't you? He gets so angry and firm with himself but he falls for it every time." I glanced at her, she looked amused.

"What are you - ?"

She looked back at her table wear. "Have fun this weekend." Damn psychic.

I blushed as we walked up to the check stand.

-*-*-*-

Exhausted from shopping, I fell asleep on the downstairs couch before Edward got there. Charlie had turned in early after a long day of dealing with a vandalism case.

When I woke, I was on the couch still, but covered in a blanket. I sat up and Edward was sitting in the lazy boy chair to my right.

He smiled but didn't move towards me.

"What are you doing over their," I asked, sounding like a disgruntled child in my sleepiness.

"You were shivering when I came. I would have carried you up to bed but you seemed to already have the chills," he said. There was a longing in his voice and his face and I could tell he disliked the distance

"I'm not cold, now. Come here," he hesitated. "Please, I missed you today." He was by my side before I could blink.

He wrapped two thick blankets around me before putting his arm around me, too. Longingly, he put his lips to mine. The kiss was short though, or it seemed to be, anyway.

"You were tired." He observed.

"Yes. Your sister is cruel. I let her have complete control over my wedding and look how she repays me. She drags me shopping with her for _ten hours_!"

Edward chuckled. Though, unexpectedly his lips were on mine again a second later. I didn't mind, but that was weird.

His lips crushed mine excitedly. He pulled my body closer to his (the downside being the thick cloth that made a barrier between us) and entwined my hair in his right hand. Edward's breathing was uneven as he pulled away.

"I will never allow her to do that again," he vowed looking into my eyes.

"Do what, again," I said, distracted.

He laughed softly. My erratic heart was slowing. We looked into each others' eyes.

"I love you," he said, as if reminding me.

"Forever?" I asked, pretending to be unsure.

"hmmm...," he said, playing along, "Only if..." His head cocked to the side a little and he frowned in concentration. "Forever." His eyes were serious. "You see how madly in love with you I am? I can't even joke about a time when I wouldn't love you."

A playful look crossed his face again. "You know Alice is right. Whenever she sees me with you, present or future, her thoughts always consider me as powerless. All of theirs' do." He looked into my eyes, "You make me _weak_." He said tapping my nose.

"Yes, well, at least you can breathe when I'm in your presence," I said.

"Not as well as you might think. But as I don't need air, any signs of an inability to breath would be virtually nonexistent."

"And I'm sure my scent doesn't help," I said.

"Actually, you'd be surprised how warped your scent has become in my head. It makes me need you so much – ." He stopped suddenly with a nearly undetectable look of discomfort.

I frowned, not understanding, but decided to discuss what I'd been thinking about when I'd fallen asleep.

"Alice told me they were going hunting this weekend," I said, leaning against his shoulder.

"She had a tantrum when she saw I wasn't going." My left hand was suddenly in his. He held out my arm and looked at the glittering ring on my finger. "What would I ever go so far for when I have everything right here?"

"I love you," I said.

He looked into my eyes and seemed sad, "thank you."

"What's wrong?"

"You don't want to hear it again."

"What?"

He paused. "I don't deserve you. You don't deserve to have your life torn away like this. You're so perfect exactly the way you are."

I frowned. "You said I'd still be me – when I changed. You meant that right?"

He smiled sadly, "Of course. You shouldn't worry about that Bella."

I glared at him. "Fine, then if I'm not supposed to worry about that than why are you? If I'm going to be me, be Bella, than why should this bother you so much?"

"You know how I feel about this," he said, a hint of anger, seemingly at himself, leaking into his voice.

I didn't want him to be unhappy. I tried to make a joke out of it. "Look, Edward, I'll sign a contract saying that if I end up not having a soul, I won't sue you or anything."

Fail. Edward's face filled with a poorly hidden fury, "Do not joke about that, Bella." He put his head in his hands

"Stop torturing yourself," I said, slightly exasperated. He didn't move. I bent forward and kissed the back of his shoulder. Still frozen.

I struggled out of my blankets and slid off the couch onto the floor so I could see his face – or the bit of it that wasn't covered.

I leaned against his leg and looked up at him until he uncovered his face.

He looked down at me and sighed. "Bella, you are going to freeze."

"I'm fine. And so are you."

He shook his head stubbornly.

"You will be. When all of this human mess is over."

He frowned and it looked like he was about to say something but stopped.

He sighed. I sat up and knelt between his legs and stretched up to kiss him. He kissed me and pulled me up onto his lap.

This lasted slightly longer than the other kiss. When I ran out breath, he trailed kisses behind my ear, down my neck and to the top of my spine. I shivered with pleasure and he seemed to understand I wasn't cold. His body responded more eagerly. Our lips met again, our breath mixing into an unknown and beautiful aroma.

His fingers edged under the bottom of my shirt and I felt his ice-cold fingers splay across my stomach. My hands tangled into his perfect hair.

When he pulled away, he was in a much better mood.

He breathed in the scent of my hair. He smiled before saying, "You know, Alice offered to help us stage a sleepover at my house this weekend. I was wondering if you thought we should take her up on it."

**A/N- Please Review. Thanks.**


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